One of my favourite things to do is listen to people talk – because invariably at some point everyone will say something funny. Sometimes real life is just better than fiction.
“You can understand Wikipedia better now! As a result of Theory IV!” ~ Theory Teacher
“Ask now or give yourself a grade.” ~ Theory Teacher
“I kill a lot of trees for a guy named ‘Forrest.'” ~ Theory Teacher
“Before Snow White was, Petrushka is.” ~ Theory Teacher
“Don’t bass the Brash!” ~ Random Brass player
“Anything else needed for life, liberty, hexatonic bliss?” ~ Theory Teacher
“We walk by sight, not by ear.” ~ Theory Teacher
“We’re going to be challenging some tackling things.” ~ Theory Teacher
“I learned long ago to always get the last word in: ‘Yes, dear.'” ~ French Teacher
“Ladies, never forget you’re feminine. Guys, never forget you’re not.” ~ French Teacher
“♪♫ I owe, I owe, so off to work I go! ♪♫” ~ French Teacher
“Sorry, guys, I was passing a brain stone.” ~ French Teacher
“What goes through your alimentary canal? Tug boats.” ~ French Teacher
“Men are like pantyhose – when you need them most they run.” ~ Anonymous
“Your tummy speaks for itself.” ~ Former Roommate
“‘Rule’ is a 4-letter word. You’re not allowed to say it.” ~ ~ Theory Teacher’s professor
“Friends don’t let friends use IE.” ~ ~ Theory Teacher
“You’re so femmy!” ~ Conducting Teacher
“You know, teachers are sadistic. You have to be sadistic to be a teacher.” ~ Bible Teacher
“I love legalism!! ~ Random Friend
“I was braiding my hair.” ~ Random Brass Player
“I don’t know why he left out the E-flat…♪♫ Perhaps he’ll die!♫♪” ~ Theory Teacher
“Go away Messiaen!!” ~ Theory Teacher
“I’m using ‘Aria’ loosely, without it’s tonal baggage.” ~ Theory Teacher
“I guess if Christ said, ‘Verily, verily,’ we can say, ‘Leave on, do not turn off.'” ~ Theory Teacher
“Words of wisdom come from the wise.” ~ Random Friend
“I am a queen at stalker!” ~ Former Roommate
“Don’t worry, all of our parents found someone to marry.” ~ Former Roommate
“A ditz and a klutz: a ‘dutz!!!'” ~ Random Friend
“No good opera plot can make sense.” ~ W.H. Auden
“Never judge a book by its movie.” ~ J. W. Eagan
“Why are fire engines red? Because 1+1=2+2=4+4=8+4=12, and there are 12 inches in a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and she sailed the ocean, and fish swim in the ocean, and fish have fins, and the Finns fought the Russians, and the Russians are red. So fire trucks are red because they’re always rushin’.” ~ History Teacher
“Don’t look at me with that tone of voice!!!” ~ Youth Pastor
“I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.” ~ John 16:12
“We have all that we need, we need all that we’ve got, we like it in Whoville, we like it a lot.” ~ Horton Hears a Who
“Joy and Peace, Peace and Joy, Joy and Peace and Happiness.” ~ The Barber of Seville
“They killed the Russians – who better to kill?” ~ Music Teacher
“When you look at me, I choke.” ~ Music Teacher
“Haydn’s symphonies are considered Mozart’s greatest.” ~ Music Teacher
“This is the thing which the LORD doth command concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, Let them marry to whom they think best.” ~ Num 36:6
“Oh my chicken!!!” ~ Former Roommate
“Your phone dies beautifully.” ~ Fake Brother
“Stupid lady at the store!!” ~ Friend-who’s-almost-a-sister
“How big is your armpit? 6 inches? 8 inches?” ~ Friend-who’s-almost-a-sister
“Justice is a dish best served immediately.” ~ Friend-who’s-almost-a-sister
Dramatic Lyric 