Unicorn

There are 2 kinds of people in this world: those unnatural people who wake up in the morning with a smile on their faces. Without coffee. And then there’s the rest of us.

The thing is, those who term themselves “Morning People” take particular delight in tormenting the rest of us zombies by greeting us cheerily with a hearty, “Good morning!!!” All this at some ungodly hour when no normal person should be out of bed. This is not only insulting, but also nonsensical. I contend that the phrase, “Good Morning,” is an oxymoron. Wishing for someone to have a good morning is just about as useful as wishing for them to have a Unicorn. And, thusly (yes, I did just make up a word), I propose that we highlight this cultural faux pas and stage a coup. When someone greets you with the hated phrase, reply with, “Unicorn.” You will probably have to explain it several times, but at least it will make you smile.