How to knit a cowl in 10 steps (or fewer*)

 

Step 1: Cast on a scarf

Step 2: Knit valiantly until the project sucks your soul away

Step 3: Abandon the scarf for 3 years

Step 4: Find project while rummaging through stash

Step 5: Decide to finish the scarf

Step 6: Decide you are too lazy to actually finish knitting a whole scarf (besides, you never liked that yarn anyway)

Step 7: Decide to make a cowl instead of a scarf

Step 8: Pretend you meant to make a cowl all along

Step 9: Hide the evidence Give away excess yarn

Step 10: Marvel at your ingenuity while enjoying your new cowl (or, you know, giving it away for Christmas)

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Yes, that is a TARDIS in the background

*Steps 3-5 optional

The Scarf that Never Ends

Do you remember the “Song that Never Ends”? I used to sing it all the time when I was a kid just to annoy people. (Yes, I was one of those kids. I am truly sorry. But I am now reaping what I have sown because people annoy me all the time by doing and saying stupid things. At least you can count on Karma.) For those of you who are not familiar with this song, here are the lyrics as I sang them in my childhood (for those of you who know them, feel free to skip down the page):

This is the song that never ends:

Yes, it goes on and on, my friends.

Some people started singing it not knowing what it was,

And now they’ll keep on singing it forever just because

This is the song that never ends:

(Etc.)

Because of the way the words and music are arranged you can literally sing it forever. I just finished knitting a scarf like that. I have officially named it the “Scarf that Never Ends.” You see, this scarf needed to be at least 8 inches (20 cm) wide, and 5 feet (1.5 m) long. I was asked to make it by a coworker, who wanted a hat and scarf in grey for her daughter. She wanted them to be like this hat that I knit a few months ago. In multiple shades of grey. Which means that I ended up knitting the thing in 2 colours of grey in Brioche. You heard me right, this scarf is double thick. And really wide. And long. I began to sing to myself as I knit:

This is the scarf that never ends:

Yes, it goes on and on, my friends.

One day I started knitting it not knowing what it was,

And now I’ll keep on knitting it forever just because

This is the scarf that never ends:

(Etc.)

It might have gone a little crazy. But at long last the scarf was done. I almost wept when I realized I still had the hat to make. Still, I knit on. And finally both hat and scarf were done. I wove the ends in, seamed very cleverly, and on Monday morning they were done. Hallelujah!

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Yarn: Yarn Bee Effervescence in Black Gauze and Silver Frost.

Pattern: Loosely based off of the Brioche Hood Hat

I must say: as crazy as this project drove me, it was amazing to give it to my coworker and see her love it immediately: “This is beautiful! My daughter will love it.”